I used to be a shark (Hard seller). Do you remember me? Continiously, scanning, scanning, trying to get as much prospects as possible. No eye contact with those who may not need my product, objectifying, cold eyed gaze, looking for...
HOT porspects to be exact.
Yeah, I used to be that guy. I would chase one prospect after another. And if I did not sell, I move on to the next one.
Anybody else who is not a prospect weren’t fellow human beings; they were "not important", "not money" or "a waste of time".
Today I notice these sales guys/women precisely by how little they notice me. Tight, contracted, critical gaze. Looking to "get" the next "hot prospect". Fact is, a man just doesn’t show up this way unless if he’s looking to fill a gaping need.
Yep…that’s "sharking". And those were some dark days, my friend, because on the inside, I was suffering. And yet when I finally realized that I would *never* be fulfilled by something outside Myself, I stopped. I mean, who cares how many hot propects I get if I still felt empty on the inside & not much sales conversion?
It’s like trying to keep a bucket riddled with holes full of water….it’s a lot of work!
So, here’s a quick check to see if you’ve been “Sharking”:
Q: Do you barely make eye contact with other people who does NOT need your product at social events? Are they more like just objects in your awareness, potential time wasters?
Q: No matter how much success you enjoy with prospecting, when you get really honest with yourself, you know it will never be enough…that you’re trying to fill some kind of hole inside…
Q: Do you immediately scan whatever social event you’re at, evaluate the people who may need your product, and if there are no prospects you find immediately available, you get bored/anxious and want to leave…
If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, chances are that you, like me, are attached to some kind of need for validation.
Since that time I’ve discovered how powerful Appreciation is. It’s the second level of our Inner Game Training Model and when I discovered it for myself it was like the warm light of the sun glittering into what used to be dark, gloomy, gray waters. If this sounds like just some happy-go-lucky word then you just don’t get it yet.
Without full and complete Appreciation for you’re at and who you’re with, in every given moment, you are, to some degree, suffering.
But when I *am* Appreciating...what a difference! The whole world, including my prospects & customers, seems to open to me. In letting go of my attachment to things going a certain way, I am free to enjoy myself, independent of the external circumstances. Paradoxically, the prospects who see me having fun, celebrating them and everyone else are getting "turned on", and are now putting their attention on ME.
Besides, who needs to shark when all the fish are coming to you?
Exercise: Next time you're at a party or social event, practice smiling and making real contact with EVERYONE you meet, guys and girls, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Find something you can appreciate about each of them. And notice what kind of a difference it makes in the quality of your interactions, and of your evening.
Whether you’re a shark, an ex-shark or a never-shark, the first step to avoid the pitfalls where we screw ourselves over in our relating with women is awareness. For a FREE Special Report from AMP on the Ultimate Guide to Overcoming ‘Inner Game’ Sticking Points with Women (illustrated with embarrassing pictures of me),
Get it now: www.
Ali Rahmat CEO, Kings International
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment